Hugo Chavez: Hey look, America! I am a communist and I have my own country now!
Uncle Sam: Well, we can't do much about that. Just sell us some oil and we'll give you money for it.
H.C.: But, look who my best friend and mentor is! (runs to where Fidel is standing, and gives him a big hug) Doesn't that make you mad?
U.S. : We're not happy about it. Just sell us some oil and we'll give you money for it.
H.C.: But I hate America and I think your president is a tyrant!
U.S: Just sell us some oil and we'll give you money for it.
H.C.: I could shut off oil to America tomorrow, and close my six refineries up there, because they are ours.* The price of oil would go up to $100 a barrel. Don't you want to assassinate me?
U.S.(sighing): Just sell us some oil and we'll give you money for it. Why are you being so antagonistic?
H.C.: I want to be famous! Like Fidel, or Saddam, or...or...Like Harry Belefonte!
U.S.: You're just a vacuous bubblehead, aren't you? Tell you what. Just sell us some oil and we'll give you money. We'll make sure the US press mentions you at least once a day, and we'll make Harry Belefonte our Ambassador to Venezuela.
H.C.: (Shoves hands in pockets, scowls at floor)Well...oh...Okay.
*Actual quote
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