Friday, December 21, 2007

The Kasey Kahne Ordeal

This article is one of many we have seen of Kasey Kahne's pending legal troubles. What follows is an item we haven't seen, but, I suspect, is out there somwhere:

Now Hiring--Security Guard

Requirements: Must be at least 60 years old, weigh less than 120 pounds and be able to take a fall convincingly and sustain injuries.

Salary: Employee will be paid $15 per hour while standing post, plus 40% of all revenues received by the employer from lawsuit, settlement, or punitive damages.

Apply at the law offices of Scruem and Moore


Mike said...

The inability to identify NASCAR drivers in their firesuits is also a plus.

JMD said...

I didn't put it in my post but I would add: know the name of a good ambulance chasing lawyer.
Look up their website and they show cases:
Woman sues after getting hit by a car inside a McDonald's. A guy hit the accelerator instead of the brake. Sued McDonald's and AT&T because the placement of the phone inside the building was dangerous.
Another one a housekeeper sued her employer because he left a pan on the stove with the burner on and boiling water. She tried to move the pan and burned herself. She wins because he left the pan their and did not have the foresight to see that the idiot would try to pick it up. Doesn't sound like the McDonald's coffee case?

RevJim said...

What is interesting is that I have recently read that the security guard actually weighs 250lbs,120lbs heavier than Kasey Kahne. He must be one hell of an actor.

ashbar said...

that's dumb.
so wait... they hire people that will say kasey (or whoever) hurt them when he pretended to get pushed down? They don't care about real security? ...What?? I'm confused.

RevJim said...

What's even dumber is thinking a 130 lb guy could knock over a 250 lb guy, no matter what his age is, with such force that it would cause the damages the guy is claiming.
I hope you find your sense of humor somewhere.
I will say this slowly "screw 'em and more"